My Natural Hair Journey
- Oct 10, 2016
- 3 min read
"Hey Jillian... (stifling laughter) do you have a perm?"
"No..."
"Well you need one!"
Sad to say I remember this moment as if it were yesterday. I was one of the most unpopular girls in the 4th grade and felt horrible about myself and my appearance. Looking back on things, I wasn't a terrible looking child, but I was quiet and painfully shy. Hell, I was weird to the other kids. So naturally I was picked on and bullied. Children will find any reason to make fun of each other and on this particular day my hair was the topic of discussion.
Growing up I always hated my hair. I'd usually be met with looks of disgust and comments from older women such as, "You have a lot of hair!" It was dry, brittle, and as what most would call, "nappy". After the banter from the other girls in class, I went home to my mother in tears. She decided we'd 'shut them up' by giving me my very first kiddie perm the next day. I was a bit nervous about the experience. I knew I couldn't scratch my scalp, but that equated to not touching my hair at all. I ended up going to the mall with a horribly put together ponytail...
Then the time had come to relaxed my hair. I recall the uncomfortable feeling of the cold cream being applied to my hair and scalp. It itched actually... after some time my mom took me over to the sink to wash out the relaxer. Some other steps were taken, I'm sure they consisted of repeated shampoo and conditioner. Then that was it, my hair was relaxed- or so I thought. My hair was actually sort of wavy and felt awful. Rough and brittle, but I was assured this was all normal. After a run in with the hot curlers, my hair was finally done. I had the beautiful flowing hair that I knew would pacify the bullies.
Monday morning rolls around and I prance into my classroom. The very same girl that teased me the week before comes up to me in shock and says, "Jillian, did you get a perm?" I proudly responded with, "Yes!". Her reaction will forever stick with me, she did something that went completely over my head at the time, but now I understand. She simply replied with, "oh" and walked away. Here I was thinking I came out on top. I fought off the bully and won, but in all actuality I was simply showing her how much control she had over me. I didn't realize this until later in my adult years. I was teased about my natural hair being "nappy" so instead of embracing it, I changed it. Yeah, I sure showed them.
Years later I continued relaxing my hair. But I began to see a change in my hair. It was becoming more thin and brittle everyday. The other girls couldn't wait to share their comments once again. "Jillian your hair looks SICK! Omg it's so thin!" There were times when I would pray at night asking God to help my hair grow. Little did I know all I needed to do was leave it alone. I didn't make that discovery until my mid twenties....
Now that I am natural I absolutely LOVE my curls and coils! My hair has never been so long and healthy! I started GEM Naturals to help other women embrace their curls just like I have. I was under the impression that my hair could not curl and would just look like an unkept afro... boy was I wrong! (Although the afro is a beautiful style✊🏾, I assumed it to be my only option.)
So as I continue on this journey I want nothing more than to encourage and empower other women to do the same. No I am not here to tell anyone what they should do with their hair, but I am more than happy to share my experiences and advice with other. This is far from over and I am learning new things about my hair on this wonderful journey! Care to join me?
Stay Beautiful! XoXo
-Jillian
GEM Naturals
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